I do believe I've found it.
Fight for yourself and
who you are. You've got
to go through the worst
times in life to get the best
Well, a girl can dream. DO have to stop spending my money before I get it though. =/
Let's hope B'N'T's'll give me a go, eh?
(mis-quote from postsecrets)
- Mood:
tired
It was a crap old place. ‘Open Plan’ apparently. Just one room (well, two if you counted the cubical sized toilet), with completely tiled floors that had once been white but were now brown and cracked with age. The kitchen took up one corner of the room with its Formica bench tops and a claw footed bath tub inconveniently placed right in the middle. A curtain rail above. The ‘bedroom’ was in the corner opposite the toilet. More of a haphazard triangle. Again with a curtain rail above if you wanted some privacy. A windowed door was a part feature of this ‘bedroom’, which led out onto a small and bland balcony where Solitaire had already hung a burgundy hammock between two opposite corners, taking up the majority of space, and placed a few flower pots with half dead blooms in them.
Raoul smiled “It’s …. Lovely.”
She scoffed. “Not quite yet. It’ll look better soon.”
The next Saturday Japan, Charity and Raoul came over and helped her scrub the floor, slowly transforming the tiles from their brownish white to something closer to a crème.
They talked (and threw soapy water at each other) as they worked, stopping at around one for a lunch of animal shaped, jam sandwiches provided by Japans two children who had decided earlier that scrubbing floors was no fun.
Sapphire arrived around three in the afternoon with several boxes of odds and ends for the place. He had explained that since moving into Pemberly with Japan, it had all lived in storage and she may as well take what she pleased. She was very happy to take three large fans off of him, along with more domestic effects.
On Tuesday Solitaire went shopping with Charity and bought an assortment deep red, purple, green and pink second hand shag pile rugs from a grubby little shop called ‘Shag’. Solitaire’s favourite being three shocking pink round ones. She also purchased many large round and square cushions made of sari fabric. She put these in a pile to one side when she got them home.
Other sari fabric, found in HippyShoppe, was used as curtains and pinned into the yellowed walls with the large fans.
The first time Raoul came over once the place had been done up properly, he made a very pleasing show of astonishment at how different and nice the place looked.
“The Harem look. I understand why you and Grandpere get along.”
She gave him a quick, light kiss on the lips before becoming rather fascinated in a small and dirty city bird on her sill, and allowing him to peruse (parooozal!!) the kitchen and complain loudly about the absurdity of a bath in the middle of a kitchen.
- Mood:
drained - Music:Bullet with Butterfly wings - Smashing Pumpkins
'no'
'aw, that's a pity. I've just come out of the closet about my trekkie -ness'
Kate - '...what??? ' *bug eyes* ' you mean come out come out?'
Mel and I burst out in hysterical laughter =)
- Mood:
tired
1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favourite Movie:
5. Favourite Song or Album:
6. Favourite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favourite memory of us?
14. What is your favourite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favourite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent.
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?
- Location:table
- Mood:
sore - Music:ncis
I met him on my rounds.
His name is Harold.
He's a thisty year old shut in.
He's filled with such a deep fear of the world that he has been driven to his books and his wordsfor an escape, never venturing out into the world.
He asked me n the first time I delivered to him and we had tea and a chat. He collects stories you see. abou those who come into his world. How thay look andd what they've got to tell.
I couldn't stay long the first time. His place was so full of his fear that I could feel it fall in on me and choke me. Press into me like the night time. But I felt that he himself was a safe vessel to store fragmanets of me in. A safe place to keep my secrets. About the forest. And JJ and HL and all the rest. The dreams I've had about Annie. The one's that I can't make sense of. And I tell him about my house.All the plants mum puts aound it.
And there'sa power to be had there. Over him. Like every other man. I don't even try. It just happens. He's hooked on me like I'm hooked on cocaine. Even when I scare him. Make his safe haven from the world a dark and dangerous place to dwell. A place were he is exposed and powerless. and I leave him. Scared for days. I send someone else on my rounds so that when i do come back, he's hidden away in his shell and I must coax him back out. It makes him so happy that I am back that he would do almost anythhing for me.
Rather pointless but I've a bit of a LOVE/hate relationship with it.
- Location:kitchen
- Mood:
thirsty - Music:heater hum
I lean over the sink and splash water over my face, coming up to stare at my reflection.
My pupils are so dilated it’s scary. Just a slither of blue around the black pit of a pupil.
I rest my forehead against the coolness of the mirror and a slight whine escapes my lips. I don’t know what to do with all ‘this’ that is inside me.
I rock back and forth on my feet, my head banging into the solid wall mirror in front of me. My force quicker and harder and then I hear a ‘crack’ and blood is gushing into my eyes and down my face.
Ooops.
But my mind is suddenly clear. No thoughts other then that I have to make this look like a simple accident.
I splash water all over the floor of the girl’s bathroom before grabbing toilet paper and pressing it into my forehead.
And now I wait for someone to find me.
- Mood:
tired
- Mood:
giggly
Christmas to-do list -CARDS!
aaaaannnnnd -tree! (My little darlin's up :-)
aaaaannnnnd - Presents! (don't expect nuttin. but love bitches!)
aaaaaaaaand -SOngs! = Santa baby!, 12 days of christmas TP style!,
-Mo
- Mood:
crushed
I feel. So very tired. *yawn*
results tomorrow. =(
- Mood:
tired
- Mood:
bouncy - Music:Straight to Video - Uhmmm
- Mood:
ecstatic - Music:Underneath the Man Tree
Q: What's the last text message on your mobile say?
‘okay’
Q: Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
Richard E Grants!
Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
Grey with white stripes
Q: Most recent movie that you watched?
Benchwarmers
Q: Name one thing that you do everyday?
Gmail
Q: What's the colour of your bedroom walls?
white
Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?
1.95
Q: What's your favorite sport?
soccer
Q: When was the last time you saw your mum?
this morn
Q: Who got you to join Live Journal?
all you losers
Q: What did you have for dinner last night?
Spaghets
Q: Look to your left. What's there?
mobile, printer, duck
Q: What website(s) do you visit the most?
Gmail
Q: Do you have an air freshener in your car?
nope. That stuff’s leathel!
Q: Do you have plants in your room?
nope
Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
no
Q: What city was your last taxicab ride in?
Sydney I think … oh no, Asakusa
Q: Do you own a picture phone?
yes.
Q: What's your favorite Starbucks drink?
I don’t do starbucks
Q: Recent time you were really upset?
I think it was a Saturday?
Q: Would you have a problem if your friend went after your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
Probably. Depends
Elaborate on your default icon.
It’s a dancing cow! Rah!
What's your current relationship status?
In negotiations …
What exactly are you wearing right now?
A night shirt
What is your current problem?
school is a bitch!
What do you love most?
my babe
What makes you most happy?
coke. Really happy.
Are you musically inclined?
lol.
If you could go back in time, and change something what would it be?
I woldn’t
Ever have a near death experience?
maybe
Name an obvious quality you have?
blue eyes
What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
Rainy days and mondays
Any celeb you would marry?
Not really
Who will cut and paste this first?
no one
Name someone with the same birthday as you:
lol, ms prucino
Do you have a crush on someone?
not so much a crush as a healthy interest
Have you ever vandalized someone's private property?
posibly
Have you ever been in a fight?
yep
Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Hellll no
What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
shoes probably
What do you usually order from Starbucks?
haven’t we done this already?
Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
no
Say something totally random about yourself:
I have a headache
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
no
Do you wear a watch? What kind?
sometimes. It was my grandmothers
Do you have anything pierced?
ears
Do you like pain?
I understand it’s need.
Do you like to shop?
when I get stuff, sure!
What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
rice paper rolls. Complete with dead bugs …
What was the last thing you paid for with a credit card?
I didn’t
Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone?
… probably … clare? Last week?
What is on your desktop background?
a piccie of the green man
What is the background on your cell phone?
swirls and flowers
Do you like redheads?
Not a fan of orange..
Do you know any twins?
I know one half of a twin.
Do you have any weird relatives?
that would be me
What was the last movie you watched?
… see above
What was the last book you read?
By the pricklings of my thumbs
Did you or are you planning to go to college?
yes
What is your favorite pair of pants that you own?
…
Do you like to party?
not really. Unless it’s tea and scandal
Where do you see yourself in five years?
the same.
- Mood:
tired
Much love <3
- Location:sector 9 (?)
- Mood:
tired - Music:Teahouse of the Spirits - TPC
yes. Am a sentimental berk =/
How are you right this second?
really really tired.
Does the last person you shared a bed with mean a lot to you?
Of course!
Do you like to take walks?
yes.
Will your next kiss be a mistake?
it'll all depend on the _kind_ of kissing you're on about
When was the last time you cried?
dunno
Where is your biological father right now?
Home
What is bothering you right now?
the fact I'm so tired and that I won't be home till about 7 =(
Have you ever made out on a boat?
... I actuallyu feel quite ill thinking about that
Have you ever seen somebody get shot?
on the news. (I love that you show something natural like the human body and eveyone gets a the stick shoved up their arse even further but the slaughter of another being is great for dinner time...)
Where are you?
school avoiding supp study(which is stupid)
Does your head hurt?
not really
Do you like someone right now?
As in fancy???
Have you ever injected a drug?
no, but others have done it for me *feels sick*
Where is your best friend?
One's at school and I suppose another is at work. Duno where the third is
Look to your right , what is there?
a box to return journals
Have any piercings or tattoos?
9 piercings and two tattoos
Do you fight with your grandparents often?
no. thats not done in our family
Where is the shirt you are wearing from?
dunno
Have you ever been in a car accident?
Yes
Do you have to check in with your parents before you go some place?
yesss. And I get quized on it too
Do you know anyone with cancer?
6 degrees my friend
Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
Well, I didn't like one of my besties...
What bed did you sleep in last night ?
mine
Do you think the whole day would be better if you smoked pot?
um, no
Has anyone ever saved your life?
yep.
Do you get good grades?
*ahem*
Have you ever been drunk twice in one week?
yes.
What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
veritys and drinks with Yelena =)
Did you ever go to a special learning center?
I had to do special sports 'cose I was so un-co haha
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school?
Yes.
Do you get mad or discouraged when you're wrong?
Sometimes. Not as bad as I used to ><"
What was the first thing you did when you woke up?
drabnk water
Does anyone call you baby?
yes
Who did you ride in a car with last?
Kate
What colour shirt are you wearing?
black
Whats the last thing you ate?
HJ veggie baugette and fries
Last thing you drank?
Coke =)
How was your weekend?
... I can't actually remember it. They all melt into themselves =/
Are you happy right now?
no. I'm just 'normal'
What did you do today?
school.
Where is your phone?
bag
Who did you say 'I love you' to last?
... possibly Clare.. I can't remember all that well
Do you worry a lot?
oh yeah. I am a worry wort!
Would you rather have big or small dogs?
it would depend on their nature
Do you mind being cold?
depends
What is your favorite sports drink?
water!
Do you keep a diary or journal (offline or online)?
yes
What is your favorite candy?
'boiled sweets'
Is there something that reminds you of someone every time you see or hear it?
oh yes.
Do you trust all of your friends?
It depends. I know some of them can't keep their mouths shut (and to be fair I don't always myself)
Are you afraid of falling in love?
No. I just don't want to...
- Mood:
tired
- Location:I hate certain person's land
- Mood:
annoyed - Music:Wash the dishes
- Location:Bed
- Mood:
sick - Music:Sweeny Todd Music
Rating - G
Warnings - Disgusting level of fluff :-S
Solitaire was sitting in the corner at her party at Pemberly. She was trying to enjoy herself but she just could not get over the fact that her own parents had forgotten her birthday.
She felt so very much unloved and vulnerable at this moment. At least Serenity and her family hadn’t forgotten. That was something. Just perhaps, not enough?
She blushed as she realized she had been staring at Antonio during hercontemplation. But he was here…Antonio. A smile lit her lips. He was dreamy. But he would never go for her now. When she was older though. Maybe, just maybe she would have a chance.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It was an hour into her party when Antonio sat next to her.
“Hey! Happy birthday!” He nudged her with his sholder.
Solitaire was looking down at her hands. “Thanks.” She mumbled.
“You don’t seem very happy. You should be. Double digits!!” he nudged her again.
‘Oh gods. He’s talking to me. Oh my.’
She smiled slightly before realizing she should say something so as not to look foolish. “Yeah.” She mentally smacked her forehead ‘Lame!’
“I heard about your parents. They’re not important. You’ve got us. We’re real family.”
She looked over at him and smiled slightly. That was just what she needed to hear.
“Thanks.”
“Would you care to dance?”
Solitaire looked up. He didn’t seem to be joking her.
She nodded slightly “O.k.”
Antonio smiled one of his charming smiles as he led her towards the dance floor.
It was a slow dance. In her opinion a very romantic dance.
“You look stunning. Really beautiful you know.” He played with a stray piece of her hair.
Solitaire looked down. “Th…thank-you. I…I…You look good yourself.”
He laughed, not unkindly. “Thank-you.” He stroked her face and held her tight. “Ace… Do you want go outside…for a walk…in the gardens…I hear they’re beautiful in this part of Pemberly.”
She glanced up at him. Unsure. On one hand this could be a joke. A “right of passage” but what if he really did like her? He might try to kiss her…maybe she should not have had that garlic dressing…
“Um…O.K”
He gave her a million dollar smile. (A/N Grrrrrr)
The gardens were cool and he wrapped his arms around her to keep her warm.
“Ace?” He was waiting for a response.
“Yes Antonio?”
He laughed again, “Just call me Tony.”
“Oh…. um. Okay.”
“Ace… I’ve wanted to tell you this for a while…ah….you don’t have to say anything. I… I just want you to know.”
She held her breath. “Yes?”
“I…I love you.” He turned away.
“Really?”
“Yes. I … I would have told you sooner but… I’m telling you tonight because well… you’re of age for courtship now. And if you want we… we can court…but you don’t have to. If you don’t want.”
“Yes! Yes I want to date!”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
(A/N Not overly happy about his need to jump her ASAP Perhaps a tad more of her thoughts on him. How they met during a training thing, gotta have 'eyes' little things that tell you more about their relationship .... Need book.
- Location:Wire in the blood yesss
- Mood:
sick
New end to both chapters which is the reddy bits
Rating - G
Warnings - none
It was 5am in the morning. Solitaire was excited. Today was her tenth birthday and like most girls her age she found the prospect of getting older exciting.
Her parents were asleep in their rooms. Her mother next-door. She knew that in a few hours they would come into her room, wish her a happy birthday and give her her present.
They had almost made her believe that they had forgotten, but they would never do that to her! No. They were just planning something extra special because she was entering double digits. They would never forget.
She dressed hurriedly, pulling on a pair of jeans and a red shirt. Sitting on her bed she brushed her hair while waiting for her maid to come in and light the fire.
Now, should she wear her hair up or down today? Perhaps if she did her hair a little bit fancy now, she wouldn’t have such a lot to do tonight when she went over to Pemberly…
Oh, dear. What was she going to wear? Antonio would be there so it had to be something that would make her seem mature and sophisticated. Something to enhance the slight curvature her body had begun to take on. Definitely a corset gown, but nothing too fancy incase … She blushed. A girl could dream.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
‘They had forgotten. How could they forget?’
At least her real family had not forgotten. They were going to begin celebrations at sunset.
Her thoughts began to trail… She would soon be initiated She was to be the last in their group. On the first full moon after her first bleeding. She would go through the rights and then become one of “Them” and live in the Underground.
Away from her parents.
She was more anxious to leave home now. Especially since her parents didn’t want her too.
‘I wonder what the initiation process is like. Charity says they aren’t allowed to tell Unknowns. Am I an unknown?’
There was so much she didn’t understand! She had been taking classes. A sort of ‘Beginners Guide’ to familiarize herself with the language and what would be expected of her once she was initiated. It would not all be fun as she would have chores to complete, nothing she had ever encountered here.
Her nurse maid had told her stories of the underground when she was younger and had read her a story that had been inspired by The Head himself. The stories where always told with an awed voice that promised a world quite different to the one she was used to.
- Mood:
cranky - Music:Mom's bitching
